Steve K.

Welcome everybody, to another episode of Wealth Transfer TV. My name is Steve K. And we've got an amazing guest today, a longtime supporter, longtime friend, just someone I really, really admire. He's the person that when he's speaking, I'm listening, like I'm listening. And if I have a pen and paper, I'm taking in notes. You're not going to want to miss this one. This is Dr. Joseph Meedi. He's the founder and president of Life Forming Leadership Coaching. It's a coaching training organization that's in 29 countries and 14 languages. Dr. Joseph's authored a lot of different articles, books dealing with organizational and personal transformation, and he's working in financial wellness for families and churches. Welcome, Dr. Joseph.

Joseph Umidi

Super excited to be with the great interviewer himself, Steve K. I love talking with you and I know you're going to pull out stuff out of me that I've never heard before because of your great spirit led questions.

Steve K.

Well, wow, no pressure, right? Like how I foll- Holy Spirit, I really need your help now. Show me where we're going to go. We're talking about following Jesus. How following Jesus elevates our influence to transformative levels. What does that mean in plain English?

Joseph Umidi

Well, I've been following Jesus like you have for years, but most of the time I've been following Jesus the teacher, Jesus the evangelist, Jesus the healer, Jesus the prophet. I never knew there was Jesus the master coach. How come someone didn't tell me that in the New Testament he asked 101 questions. And following Jesus means unpacking the questions, not just the teachings of Jesus. That was become the key, the transformation in me and through the tens of thousands of coaches that trained.

Steve K.

That's very interesting because one, I'm being revealed as Jesus as the master coach, as you're speaking. But I did focus, I do focus on how Jesus answers questions with questions. And sometimes it's interesting someone will ask Him a question, like this guy at the pool of Bethesda after the guy was healed, he asks Him a question and Jesus, He answers something completely different. You know, can you give me an example of how we would do this? Can you take apart a scripture and the questions Jesus asking and how do you apply it organizationally or personally? Let's go personally first.

Joseph Umidi

Okay. First of all, everybody knows questions are good, but this is not socratic method. This is not Socrates. This is the Jesus method which brings revelation. And so let's take an example. Jesus is in Cesarea Philippi and He asks the question, who do men say that I am? Some say you're this. Some say you're that. Now, the context is important. It's not just what you ask, Steve, it's where you ask when you ask and how you ask. So Censoria Philippi, real quick, is the gates of hell in New Testament times. And they have these shrines and grottos on the side of the road to all the roman pantheon of gods, like pan. So pilgrims would always ask, well, who do men say that God is? Who do men say this one? Here's the Jesus method. He either crafted a couple of questions ahead of time, knowing where He was going to be, and everyone's asking in a natural way and He's going to shift it to the supernatural or led by the spirit. He just asked it on the spot. And so when they said, some say this, and then He goes for the jugular, and who do you say that I am?

Joseph Umidi

And that's when Peter said, thou art the Christ. And Jesus said, blessed are you, simon, son of Jonah, flesh and blood has not revealed this, but my father in heaven. Here's the principle, Steve. Some revelation, some breakthrough, some creative wisdom strategy is only going to come on the other side of a powerful question. Either you ask or is asked to you. And that's following Jesus in the transformational process of coaching questions.

Steve K.

What an amazing insight. I'd like to throw my opinion in here, and I think Jesus is led by the spirit and on the spot, the spirit's telling Him what to do, right? And based on, like you said, where He is, He's crafting questions and who He's speaking to, right? He's very aware. Jesus is very aware who's in the audience. He's very aware of the environment He's in. So let's dig a little deeper. How can we, on a personal level, apply this to our own lives? But how do you coach people to apply this?

Joseph Umidi

So, first of all, there's a technique, but there's something deeper and there's a heart issue. So there's a tribe in South Africa that when they meet a fellow tribe member, they say Sukuana and it means I see you. And the response is Sabona and it means I am here. The principle is, until you see me, I don't even exist. So the first thing that we need to train spirit led, transformational coaches is not what you say, it's what you see. You have to see the person, the way the Father does and see what the spirit is doing in the moment to know what to ask, when to ask and how to ask. That's the first principle. So we teach people to see before we teach people to say, and that means being fully present, asking the Lord to give you intuition indicators. That's just another term for what are you seeing on that person that is telling you that they are ready to go deeper, ready to get a word from the Lord, teachable, whatever it takes. And that's an art. I'm not that good at it, but I work on it all the time. That's the first principle.

Joseph Umidi

The second principle is you got to have a theology of being sent. Right? The Father sent the Son, Son sent the Spirit, and the Spirit sends us, and we are sent. So in the morning, I get up and I do the Isaiah thing, whom shall I send? And I say, here am I, send me. So I make that declaration. And then knowing who I'm already going to be meeting, I craft and pray about a question. And then not knowing who I'm spontaneously is going to meet, I just walk on water and say, Lord, I know. Since I said send me, you're already ahead of me, preparing them for whatever I'm going to ask. Let it be a transformational moment. I pray.

Steve K.

Wow, I got to unpack this slowly. I'm following you. What have you done in a practical sense, that makes you aware, to be aware or present when people are speaking. And what I mean by that is you're talking about being present to people. You mean looking at them, hearing them, listening to what they're saying. And I would argue to be fully present. You can't start crafting your rebuttal or your answer while they're speaking. And I've done a lot of things that become a habit. But how can people catch themselves or remind themselves? I'm not here to answer the question properly. I'm here to hear what they're saying first without that rebuttal, without looking good, right? Just there to hear what they're saying. Is there something you do to make sure you're fully present?

Joseph Umidi

Well, that's the question right there. So let me tell you a quick story. So I'm a tenured professor in the school of divinity. I'm a pastor, church planter. I'm an author. So, like, I'm doing all this stuff, but I was in the season of my life that I was boring. I was preaching out of the barrel. That means I'm using notes and quotes and even testimonies from two years ago. Nothing up to date. I'm drifting. I'm on a plateau. Very dangerous place to be.

Steve K.

Oh, yeah. No fresh mana, no fresh bread.

Joseph Umidi

Come on, man. Dangerous place to be. So here's the story. I'm picking up this world thing up. It wasn't my breakfast. It was what I just told you, Steve. I told him that 20 minutes later, I dropped him off. All he did was ask me five questions. And I went into a headspin, tailspin reflection for three months. And I came out and I made a vow. Here's the vow: Lord, I want to do that every day of my life. And I want to train tens of thousands of people all over the world to do it. What's it going to take? And here's what God said to me, SEA. I said, what is SEA? He said, you can't do this on your own. He said, up to yourself, you'll drift through your day in your head, in your own world. On autopilot, you'll walk by people that I want you to talk to. He said, you need support, encourage, help each other to stay fully awake in the harvest with your eyes wide open to the mercies of God that are new every morning. If you don't have SEA, you're probably going to be in and out of this thing. And that's what happened. So I need other people to commit themselves to do it with me, and so that's what I do.

Steve K.

Okay, this is great. Let me give you a personal example. Yesterday, I met with an individual, a friend of mine, and he's going through a very rough time. And he came to me, he's 15 years younger. He says, I want to be what you are like when I grow up. He's 35 years old. When I grow up, I want to be like you. I want you to be my mentor. And it's a very weighty thing for me because he's asking me to guide his life. And the first thing I'm asking is, how can I support him? How can I hold him accountable, and how do I create this environment? So if you're me, how do you do this on a one on one level first, before?

Joseph Umidi

Yeah. And I think the old me would have just start telling what worked for me, tell him my story, and just basically assume that even though he wants to be like me or you, that he actually is like me or you, which he's not.

Steve K.

Exactly.

Joseph Umidi

So what your job first would be, if you're going to follow Jesus in the transformational process of asking questions, you want to know how his Psalm 139 dna, that's: "Behold, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous am I in God's sight". So I would ask questions. Before we go any further, can you tell me about your unique design? What's your gift mix? Your personality, your temperament? Number two, let's talk about your unique desires. What's your core values and passions, if you can name one or two. Number three, let's talk about your unique, God given dream. That's your bucket list. What is God breathing on you in terms of your life purpose and sense of legacy? And that's number four, what's your unique destiny? That means, what do you want to leave behind to your children's children, to the next generation? Once you know that, then you can mentor that person in a tailor made way, not a one size fits all.

Steve K.

Okay, first of all, why weren't you there yesterday? I'm serious. Two, I have to repent because I told them my story!

Joseph Umidi

Of course.

Steve K.

I told them my story because that's what I was told. I told them my story. I told them how I do it. I told them how I manage life. I told them how I make sure I don't go off the track, how I treated as support around me and people around me that speak into my life. I didn't ask him any questions other than how you're feeling.

Joseph Umidi

Well, you got to tell your story, and there's nothing wrong with what you did, but the next time you meet with him, you say, now it's your turn. I sucked all the oxygen out of the room, and I was 90% talking you, 10%. This time, we're doing the opposite. Tell me your story. Let me see where my story and your story intersect so that you're not trying to be me. You're trying to find how your story intersects with my story in those places. I can help you.

Steve K.

Wow. You also just took all the weight and pressure off of me with that because I thought, oh, my God, I can't live up to whatever he thinks I am. Whatever image he has of me is wrong. I know that for sure. Right? My wife will tell him. Are you sure about this? Also, I think it was my own insecurity. It was like, why would you want to be like me? Is it that bad? But this just takes all the weight off of me, and it goes back to having them ponder and question and dig deep into them. And the truth is, I don't think only one person has ever asked me these questions you're asking me right now.

Joseph Umidi

We've got 10,000 teachers. What's Paul say? And not many fathers. But when I realized that everybody wants to talk, teach, exhort, give advice, fix and tell people what your story was, everybody. That's my default. That's where I usually go. But there's not many people with the father heart. But here's the deal. The best way is a movement of people that I'll call conversational coaches. Just people that know how to be an army of connectors. And they don't need to be teachers. They don't have to have all the answers. They just need to know what the Holy Spirit wants them to ask. That frees you up. They do the work, not you. Because here's the deal. When God comes in the garden, knowing where Adam is, knowing what he had done, He still asks the question, where are you? And the idea is God wants people to talk themselves into the reality, verbally process how they think, feel, and believe with the help of someone asking you. So that when you realize what you've done or who you are or where you're going, you own it. But when I tell you the answers, you can decide whether that's just Steve or that's just Joe Joseph. That's not really for me. The only way they can own it is if God speaks to them in the process of them digging deeper from their own well.

Steve K.

You're exactly right. If I say it, I own it. If you say it, maybe, I don't know. Let me think about it. And I'll probably go against you just because that's how I'm programmed to run.

Joseph Umidi

Yeah, that's what they did with Moses. They say, hey, Moses, you go on top Mount Sinai and hear from God. Whatever He tells you, you tell us, and we'll do. Didn't work. That's why it says in Hebrews, you've not come to that mountain. You've come to the church, the firstborn come to Zion. You come to the Lord Jesus. Therefore, do not refuse Him, who is continually speaking to you. Don't depend on a Steve K or a Moses to tell you what God's saying. You hear from God. That frees you up. That frees you up.

Steve K.

All right, now I'm going to dig deep here. Let's go back to, you said he asked you five questions, this person, and three months you were messed up. I want to talk about this three month process. Immediately afterwards. What started happening in your thought process? Where did you go? Take us on that three month journey and then show me a before and after. So you get these questions, you go in a tail sprint. Then what does Dr. Joseph Umidi to do?

Joseph Umidi

So, first of all, I looked at my own method of making disciples multiplying leaders. And I realized I was king of the handouts, meaning I thought that transformation came from information. So I was giving handouts, PowerPoints, I take students to my library, my office library, say, open my files here, take whatever you want and copy it. Just leave me one copy to make for the other students. And so basically I examined that and I realized this is not working anymore for me. And I studied and I realized if you sat down tonight, Steve, and read all the content of Jesus teachings left for us by him in the four gospels, eliminate the duplications, and you sat down, it would take you 45 minutes to read. That's all we have of the content of Jesus teaching. And I realize it's not just content, it's context. And the context is the questions He asked. So here's how Jesus made disciples. This is what I discovered during that three month. He had life forming content. That's God's word. But then He had the context of life changing relationships. That's mentors, coaches, so forth, disciplers. And then He had life stretching experiences where He put the disciples over their heads and then they would come back and debrief with Him and He'd ask questions.

Joseph Umidi

And then they had life altering God encounters along the way in any of those primary to that, I was just a teacher giving information. Now I became a discipler and a leadership multiplier by doing it the Jesus way. So that's what was going on in my mind and heart over that three months of realizing, oh, and by the way, I met him a year later and I said, now it's time for me to ask you a question, sir. I said, I don't let people into me that are strangers. What happened? He said, before I met you, I made two decisions. Number one, I decided I unconditionally loved you. I said, what? I thought you had to get to know like and trust somebody before you could love them. Only person I've heard about Jesus doing that, but he did it. And number two, he said, I prayed that you'd have a breakthrough with just one conversation. I said, what? I thought that know happened chance, maybe once in a while. You mean you could intentionally look at your day and say breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough. I'm believing for it. I'm preparing for it. I'm going to ask a question that opens it up. You could do that? He said, that's what I do. So-.

Steve K.

You just asked the question in my head. I'm asking myself, you could do that? You can do that?

Joseph Umidi

Oh my gosh.

Steve K.

Please do it one more time. I know this is recorded but for my sake, because my mind is blown, if I can have an emoji that shows my head blowing up-. We have to do a monthly thing with you. We must, we must. Again, you meet him a year later, tell me what happens.

Joseph Umidi

So I asked him the questions, and then when he told me that it's based on you really have to be intentional about prayer and intentional about how to ask more and better questions, then that's when I realized I need to train myself or get trained or train others all those things to ask more and better questions.

Steve K.

But he said he decided to unconditionally love you and that he was intentional on praying for your breakthrough.

Joseph Umidi

Yes. So let me tell you how I do that.

Steve K.

Hold on. Are you a special friend of his? Or he just does this to anybody?

Joseph Umidi

He does it to anybody. In fact, he's like, I'm just one of who knows how many people that have been transformed one conversation at a time with this guy.

Steve K.

Hold it.

Joseph Umidi

Amazing.

Steve K.

Selah. Everybody think about this. Imagine if we were so intentional, so Christ like, that every conversation people had with us led to some type of transformation in their life that led them to some revelation, to a better quality of life, to a closer relationship with Jesus. I got to repent because I think maybe I have one of those conversations once a week when I go teach the students. This is mind blowing because I've had so many conversations today. I don't think I can answer and say, people left there feeling transformed, feeling encouraged. I don't think that this is very confronting.

Joseph Umidi

Well, here's how it works. It works with SEA. Let me give you an example. Here's how I start my classes in the university when I'm training students. Say, okay, here's how the syllabus works. You want an A do this. You want a B, don't do all that. I don't care what you get, but it may be that you should get a B, because if it ruins your devotional life or your family life, depress yourself for an A. Is that what God wants? Okay, everybody know that. Now, here's what I'm really looking for in between classes. That every time you show up somewhere, you're going to have your eyes wide open. I see you and you're going to say or ask something that causes people to wake up. So we all say, we're all going to do it together. 30 students. And I'm going to do it with you because I don't normally do it unless I have SEA. So we all have support, encouragement, accountability. First week they come back next week nobody does it but me. I made some kind of feeble attempt. I said, let me tell you what I did. I went to the gas station.

Joseph Umidi

I decided I'm going to buy my gas from my car every week for the next 14 weeks of the class, because when I went there, there's a guy from another country, hardly speaks English. He's behind a plastic plate with a hole. And people give him the credit card. They don't look at him, they don't talk to him. I decided I'm going to start. So I said, hey, hi there. Your name, sir? I can hardly pronounce it. I said, are you having a good day, sir? Are you having a good day? Yeah. Oh, what makes it a good day for you so far, sir? Huh? Nobody's asking that.

Steve K.

Of course not. Of course. It's unbelievable. You just completely-. Aw man!

Joseph Umidi

I'm a heat seeking missile. And listen, when I come back and tell the students that the next week, here's what happens. A student said, I'm getting gas. I'm driving 45 minutes home, and I remembered, oh, I'm supposed to wake up and find a burning bush moment. Okay, here's an 85 year old woman. She's going to get-. And he says, ma'am, can I help you? And she says, could you please put some gas in. And I've got to use the ladies room. Okay, ma'am. She's walking away. Ma'am, you didn't say how much to put in. She said, $5. That's all I can afford. Okay, ma'am. So holy spirit says, put your credit card in and fill it up. $58 later, she comes hobling out, sees the gas gage, falls to her knees, begins to cry out to God that he delivered her where she had a choice to be the rent or gas. Now she had both she could pay for. The student tells the rest of the class that something happens in the corporate culture of the classroom. Now they all start to go out. Popcorn. They're all starting to do SEA, makes them do something.

Joseph Umidi

And now there's like a mini revival going on in the first ten minutes of every class with these testimony of Jesus is the spirit of revelation. And other students not even in the class are showing up standing room only for the first ten minutes because God is on the move. That's how I live, my friend. When it comes to SEA. I wouldn't have done it, and neither would have the students unless we were praying for each other, supporting, encouraging, and holding each other accountable to what we said would make an on fire disciple.

Steve K.

Wow, I'm thinking, wow, I'm so convicted because I try to go through my day trying not to see anybody. And I'm serious! I feel ashamed saying this, right? But I'm so busy, right? It's sad. It's so sad. I repent, Lord. I really repent. I'm so busy. I'm so busy doing stuff for the kingdom of God, right? For the company. I'm so busy trying to be a godly man, I'm not even seeing the people in front of me. I am so ashamed. Forgive me, Lord. I love that you brought this out. I'm sending my students to this video. I want them that I'm teaching. I want them to hear this.

Joseph Umidi

I'll train your students for free. Let me tell you why. Here's the number one thing in a university. It costs thousands of dollars in the US to get a student to come to your university. And then the name of the game is retention. Helping them stay long enough to finish their degree and not just get student debt with no degree. So most students feel lonely, isolated. They feel like a number. They come from a lot of places where they haven't got many social skills and Covid. So I trained 1700 staff at the university in just a two hour training on how to do what we're talking about. And so it would start like this. Hey, John. Student John. It's good to meet you. Do you know the meaning of your name? Some do, some don't. Do you know why your parents gave you that name? Oh, yeah. Because my grandfather John, he died in a train crash or something. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. And how do you feel about his legacy in you? Oh, yeah. And if they don't have an answer for that, hey, John, is there a nickname that someone has given you that really you liked and it somehow caused you to want to be the person or the nickname was meaning.

Joseph Umidi

By the time you're done meeting that student, for the first time, they can say this. Somebody knows me, knows my name, the meaning of my name at a level that very few other people do. I am known. The good shepherd calls the sheep by their name. That's the first profile of a retained student. I am known. It's like I see you. And once that starts happening, man, the students feel loved, cared for, known, and they belong. I don't go to this university. This is my university. That's the difference in a culture.

Steve K.

Oh yeah, that's interesting you bring that up. They know my name because we're getting so much attention with what's happening with our students. I personally keep it to no more than 50 people. I started with 15, 12, but I know everybody's name. I know their situation.

Joseph Umidi

Wow.

Steve K.

I answer every single text, and that has made the biggest difference. The fact that they're like, this guy knows my name. He knows where I live. He knows my family situation. And what I found is they in turn, become vulnerable and open. And the more I become vulnerable and share my experience, like you, with you, you share with your students. This is what I did this morning. Good, bad, or ugly, right? I do the same. I had a rough week. This is what happened. I find that it creates this trust, and they're willing to share personal things from themselves as opposed to, if I just give a hand on. Just speak to them, and it's about having a conversation, I think then, right, it's what Jesus said. They will know you're my disciples by your love. And the new commandment is to love others like I have loved you, which is to lay your life down for others.And that means being interested in others more than what you got to go on.

Steve K.

Right? So instead of me talking about me, hey, talk about you, let's brag about you. Just one more point. Because I know everybody's name and their stories. I brag about them to people when I meet them. I brag about, hey, this kid is duh duha duh duha. And they're like, wow. And that also has made a change. Tell me, you said you trained yourself, you taught yourself to ask questions. How did you do that?

Joseph Umidi

Well, by taking the 100 questions of Jesus, and God gave me an insight on how to unpack it.

Steve K.

I thought there were 50. There's 100? No there's 50 commandments. Theres 100 questions?

Joseph Umidi

100 or 101 questions that are all different.

Steve K.

Is that written down somewhere? Do you have that in writing somewhere?

Joseph Umidi

So I wrote a book, Jesus the master coach. And that book is free. It's a PDF for anybody that wants it. It's in the chat. It's Jesus the master coach. So it's JTMC. That's Jesus the master coach. Jtmc@lifeformingcoach.com. If they just want the book, just go there, and my assistant will send them the link for the book. And it unpacks how, those hundred questions, what I learned from looking at them and praying through them, what values were communicated by them. What theological points was Jesus using from the scripture, like the incarnation and all that stuff, and how Jesus categorized them in the door model, direct open ownership and revealing. Anyway, it was a fun book. Nobody did that before, and anybody can take a look at it. Jtmc@lifeformingcoach.com. So here's what I've discovered for guys like, know. At the end of the day, we got so much on our plate that we have to come back to what Jesus told Martha. Martha, Mary has chosen the one thing and that was making sure we have intimacy with God each day, because productivity, that is on our plate. My to do list is off the charts.

Joseph Umidi

Not even close to yours, Steve. Productivity is a byproduct of intimacy. If you get the intimacy with God, you'll be more productive and you're going to be more intimate with the people God sends you to each day, which you're already doing a great job of. Productivity is not the goal. Intimacy is. And productivity is a byproduct of intimacy.

Steve K.

It's still one of the hardest things for me to do is to press in trusting the intimacy time with Jesus, right? Because I got a list of things I got to do, right? I got a list of people to call, a bunch of people that need me to sign things off.

Joseph Umidi

Yeah, but you got an unfair advantage. You walk your dogs out in the farm, in the woods every day and that's where you're hearing from God. We don't have that opportunity, some of us. So you need to take advantage of it because I know that's where you hear from God.

Steve K.

That and the shower. I'm notorious long shower taker because I get incredible revelations somehow in the shower. I don't know why. It's like I'm just isolated in this cabin. But I would agree, in my experience, agrees with that statement you just made, that the intimacy is where it's at and the productivity is through the roof when you have that.

Joseph Umidi

Yeah. I teach student God's way to an A. Their way to an A is to try to write a paper and they got crumpled up sheets all around them, 2ft deep, almost starting, stopping, restarting. Intimacy with God has less paper around them than getting it right the first time.

Steve K.

Wow. Not that I'm looking for a formula, but I'm going to ask you to drop a formula-. No. Are there some go to questions that you have in your pocket that you use typically that you can give our audience? Are there two or three questions like if they're having trouble? I don't know what to ask. I feel weird. Are there some go to questions that you ask people?

Joseph Umidi

Yeah. So I already know what the person's issues are. Like, let's say I need financial freedom. I need multiple streams of income. That's something that you and I are passionate about. So I'm going to ask them questions before how and all the practical. I'm going to ask them what their mindset is, their belief system about money. So I'll say something like, hey, you can choose any one of these. Do you have, like, a mother Teresa attitude about money? You want nothing to do with it and just live by the supernatural faith? That's one level you can choose. Do you have a level of, I want to just have enough money to be able to not depend on anybody. Do you have another level that I want to really be abundant enough to be generous, to be philanthropist, to influence others in the kingdom? You can choose, but let's start there. Well, once they tell me that, then I know kind of what they're dealing with, with their finances, if they have ungodly beliefs about money or they need that. So I might start. Usually I start with a why. You know, it's a guy named Simon Sinek, who's the secular guy, says, start with your why.

Joseph Umidi

And basically, that's what Jesus did a lot you can say. People come to me and they say, I'm going to lose some weight. I said, great. And why would you want to do that? They look at me like, what? Why wouldn't I want to do that? Well, I said, because this, if your why, that's your purpose, doesn't make you cry, that's your passion, then the price of commitment, whatever you do, it's always going to be too high. So you'll go to the gym for 60 days and drop out when you hit a wall because your why isn't clear enough. But when you have a why. Like, I want to be healthy for my grandkids. Like, I want to be able to travel the world and do crusades and you want to be in shape, or I want to be able to do this or that. Then when you hit the wall, you're going to continue to get the breakthrough because your why will take you there. Most people don't realize that clarity, the vision is unclear, price to commitments or whether there's no vision that people perish.

Joseph Umidi

And so that's where I start. I start with, why. Not, why would you want to do that? I mostly start with, so what would take you through to success? What kind of why or purpose do you think is important to you to help you accomplish this goal? That's where I start with people. Everybody wants to achieve something and have a goal they achieve. But they may find out that once they get it, the ladder is leaning up against the wrong wall. If you get the promotion, what do you. Oh, yo, two more hours of work at the office a day, 2 hours less with your family. So how are you defining success? I might ask Steve, maybe you need to redefine it in a holistic way so that your goal of getting promoted may need to be altered to the why of what? Holistic success.

Steve K.

Love it. I love it. When people ask me, are you rich? I say, what's your definition?

Joseph Umidi

Good.

Steve K.

What's your definition? Because whether I have money or not, I feel wealthy. I'm rich, and I love that why? And then achievement, putting in those pegs of achievement. Once you have your why, once you have what's driving you that creates purpose. So these four questions, tell me about your unique design. Tell me about your unique desire. I wrote it down here. Uh theres-

Joseph Umidi

Design, desire, dream and destiny.

Steve K.

What is your God's unique dream? And what is your unique, God given destiny?

Joseph Umidi

So let me tell you how I get at that sometimes without those specific questions. By the way, I had coffee this morning with a guy who's thinking about leaving his job. He's like 58, 59, and he heard me talk about the most productive years of your life. It's been proven. If you have, your health is between 60 and 70, and the second is between 70 and 80. That's proven. Now, why would that be? It's because people have clarified their why. So here's the four big questions I ask people, I don't care if they're high school. You could ask your kids this, Steve, even though they couldn't answer it. Like they're going to answer it ten years later, high school. I ask it. I ask it if you're in your career, I ask it. If you're in third act, the act is that's the act of your life in which you're 60 or above. Here's the four questions. Who do you want to become? What do you want to be known for? What kind of person do you want your children's children to model after you? What kind of character, what kind of legacy do you want to be known for? Who do you want to become?

Joseph Umidi

Then the second question is, well, who do you want to serve? Who's the people? God's uniquely called you to bring that modeling, that character. You see, ministry comes out of being before doing. Jesus called his disciples to be with him before he sent them out to preach. So if you get those two questions right in the right order, who do you want to become and who do you want to serve? And I mean serve big. I'm talking about your life purpose, macedonian call. Will someone come over and help us? A specific us, where it happened to be in Europe, we're not in Asia. And you need to be called to a specific people, group or person as part of your thing. The third question then is, who do you want to become? Who do you want to serve? Is what do you want to do? And the doing comes after you answer the first two questions in terms of your vocation or your multiple streams of income. And lastly is, how then shall we live? How do you want to live a lifestyle based on answering the first three questions.

Joseph Umidi

So those are purpose, why type of questions. They're big questions. I asked the guy over coffee today, those four questions, he was like a deer in the headlight. I said, you don't need to answer them now.

Steve K.

I was going to ask, did he start crying like-

Joseph Umidi

He did. He had teared up. I said, you need to do what I did. Take three months to reflect on it. Like that guy asked me. It doesn't matter how long, but wrestle with God and come out limping so that you can be a blessing to others by answering that question.

Steve K.

Oh, yeah. Come on. Come on, friends, we're doing this. If you're listening to this, what do you want to be known for? Who do you want to be known for? What kind of character? Who do you want to serve? What's your life purpose then? What do you want to do and how do you want to live? What's your lifestyle? Answering those and take time, write this stuff. I'm going to ask my kids. I'm going to ask these people I'm mentoring. I'm going to send this out to the students that I'm teaching, and I'm going to ask them these questions also. And I can't wait. I'm going to Florida when I come back in a couple of weeks, I can't wait to see what they've come up with. I find it interesting that I've been trained to ask those questions the opposite. What do you want to do? The first thing, what do you want to become? What kind of lifestyle do you want right then? Well, what do you want to do to get that lifestyle? This is completely upside down. I love it. I love it. Friends, take a look over here. Dr. Umidi, will you come back? Can you?

Joseph Umidi

Absolutely. I'll do anything for you, Steve. And listen, I'm on my most productive years of my life. The God opens the door. I'm going through it.

Steve K.

I'm so happy you said that, because I just said yesterday to my wife, I said I feel like I'm in the prime of my life. And you just told me- I'm 50 now. You just told me that 60, 70, 80, even more. Praise the Lord. Friends, go to lifeformingcoaching.com. I want you to check this out. Accelerator coaching training. But look at this. Self study, 4D discipleship. I want to ask what this is, but I'm not because there's so much in here. Just come in here. I just signed up. If you go here to the home, you click down here. I put my name in here. I put my email. Join today. It's free. Can you imagine? That's what I love about this. I love your heart. I love your heart. You're about leaving a legacy. You're about the next generation and the generation after that. And I want to tell you, man, my kids, my wife knows your name. You've never met her, but she knows who you are because I've spoken so highly of you and how you've impacted my life. Like these meetings we're having right now. Friends, go to the site, click the links below. I'm going to see if we can arrange Dr. Amidi coming maybe once a month, once a quarter. But I need these conversations in my life. I need people like this, man. And do me a favor, hit the like, subscribe because we're going to have Dr.

Steve K.

Amid on a lot more often. Go to his site, sign up, and man, I'm recommending everything he's got there, every training, just everything. Whatever you feel stirred up about, just join. If you think this was amazing, the last 45 minutes, the conversation we've had, you have no idea. You have no idea.

Joseph Umidi

Steve, you're an amazing evangelist and you need to continue that. You bring impartation. Breakthrough decisions can be made with a monolog, but disciples are made with dialogs. And so the quality of what you're doing now with these students is you're bringing the dialog transformation along with your impartation of an evangelist. You've got both these dreams converging in your life. This is why it's one of the most productive seasons of your life.

Steve K.

Wow. You just put to words what I've been sensing. Like, you put language to what I've been sensing, and that makes it tangible for me. That was a wrestling match I'm having. Like, what's happening here and you just put words to it. Thank you so much. You're such a blessing to us, and I look forward to seeing you again. I know you're a busy guy, I'm in Miami. I would love to see you. Maybe I-. I'm also going to be in New Jersey for a couple of days.

Joseph Umidi

Well, you know, once in the past, I flew down to see you again, and that could happen again.

Steve K.

If you have time, please let me know so that we can arrange something for you. It would be our pleasure to have you speak to our team. Just be there. If you do have time, please text me and we'll arrange to make sure that you get down there. We'll take care of everything. Guys. Click the link. I can't say enough about Dr. Umidi. He's the real deal. He is the real deal. God bless you, mighty man of God. And Shalom to you and your family.

Joseph Umidi

God bless you. Thanks so much. See you.